Friday, June 4, 2010

Insignificance

Nope, my exams haven't finished yet. I still have six more papers to go. And yet I'm here typing. I just feel so bored of studying, somehow. I have Econs Unit 2 next Monday, which isn't exactly a piece of cake. Sigh.

You know when a guy tells you, "You've been a really good friend to me, I love you as a friend." I guess it sounds sweet and all, but to me, its just a polite way of saying "I'm sorry, but you're just not good enough for me."

I just feel so unimportant to you. Even if you can't love me like how I love you, can't you at least make me feel important? Probably that's not possible. Probably only those you love are important to you. Hmmm, isn't that a big fat DU-UH? Why am I still questioning it?

Because the depression is starting to sink in again. I feel so insignificant.

All that being said, I do feel guilty moping about this when the people in Gaza are fighting to stay alive, every single day. When those brave, selfless, amazing people on those aid ships don't mind risking their lives for a higher purpose.

I wish I could be with them. Because seeing what they go through everyday, my own life seems so small. My struggles seem so minuscule compared to everything they have sacrificed, and will continue to sacrifice.

If only I could possess half the strength that they have, I can get through anything.

Stop fretting Aira, you seem so shallow. There are bigger problems out there. Bigger and more terrible than anything you have ever been through. So suck it up and put a smile on your face!

2 comments:

Jonathan said...

Loving someone as a friend doesn't mean loving them less, sometimes it means loving them more. I have a few really close friends whom I think I would, literally, die for. So keep your chin up =) If it didn't hurt it wouldnt be called a crush.

Aira Nur Ariana said...

Aaaww, thank you Jon :) Thanks for taking the trouble to read and comment on my petty grievances. Haha. But yeah, I guess you're right. I do need to keep my chin up :)