Monday, April 12, 2010

Lethargic

Today was not a good day. I was attacked by this terrible headache that made me nauseous, sleepy and weak all at the same time. I hope I didn't inherit my mom's migraines :S

Life is just crawling along day by day. It gets so sickening at times. Not that the people I meet or the things I do makes life sickening, its the monotony of it all. I find myself dreaming of a different place, a different life, something new and refreshing and most of all, exciting. Life just doesn't excite me anymore. Wake up, get dressed, go to college, Econs, Law, Maths, Coursework, come home, eat, sleep, and you wake up the next morning and do it all over again.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm truly thankful for all that God has given me in this life. I have a wonderful family and dedicated lecturers. I get to go to college and pursue knowledge, a chance to make something out of myself. I am so blessed.

But sometimes I feel that I need someone to go through all of it with. Yes, despite my 'Miss Independent' thing that I have, it does get unbearably lonely at times. Like a friend of mine said: "Being independent can be lonely at times."

The thing, is, its not that I want to be so independent all the time. But its not like I have a choice. There is one person whom I wish, more than anything else right now, was with me, who loves me enough to go through all of it with me, who loves me and wants me as much as I want him. I never knew you could want someone so bad you can't get him out of your mind.

I need you to inspire me. I really do. But you're too busy inspiring someone else.

Therefore, you will never know how I feel. And maybe that's for the better.

p/s: My blog needs more pictures. It looks so dead.

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