Tuesday, March 30, 2010

I Should Not Be Writing This

No, I should not. Because I have coursework to do. But I have stuff to talk about, too. So coursework can wait (Are you kidding, Aira? Coursework cannot wait. Pffftt. You will SO regret this later).

HELPMUNC 2010 just ended last weekend. Three months of intense preparation, of literally living with those placards in my room, it all culminated in the span of three days. And it was all worth it, seeing everything come to life. Working together to put up such a prestigious event certainly made a huge impact on me, and I will never forget it, ever. Sure, it does get a bit frustrating when you know you played such a big part in making the conference happen, only to have people on the day referring to you as an 'admin' instead of 'Deputy Secretary General'. At times, I did feel so unappreciated that I asked myself, 'Why am I doing this?'. But then when I calm down and look back, I tell myself that if you have worked hard for something, you shouldn't need other people to make you feel good about it. Of course, a pat in the back would be really nice, but another thing I've learned from this is that you can never expect too much from people. The more you expect, the more you get frustrated. So just go with the flow and don't take things too seriously.

To Jonathan, James and all Secretariat members, though I doubt that any of you are reading this, I just wanted to say how blessed I am to have had the opportunity of working with you guys. I also want to apologize for all the times I was bitchy, bossy or rude. I love each and everyone of you and we do make an awesome team, don't we? :)

As for matters of the heart, as always, I'm going through that hopeless feeling where you just think about someone , knowing that they will never think about you. That feeling where you just know you can love that someone for exactly who he is, but you're not even considered as a friend to him. Why do I put myself through this? This pain..this seemingly endless cycle of sadness and frustration? I hate it so much. Sigh.

Anyhow, college life is catching up on me very fast. April is coming, which means that all the mock exams are coming, and I am still unprepared. I have such high ambitions but sometimes I question myself, am I really working as hard as I should towards those ambitions?

You better start working your ass off, Aira. Or you can kiss UCL goodbye.

p/s: I miss you so much, but you will never know.

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