Friday, March 27, 2009

Hate is a Strong Word. Because its a Strong Feeling.

I've come to a point where I've started to hate. I sat in the plane on the way home from Sydney, thinking about everything, from the first time I spoke to him, how close we became after that, and of course, all the emotional trauma and heartbreak I went through. And suddenly I felt this hate inside me.

I hate him for making me go through sleepless, tear-filled nights and waking up with swollen eyes.

I hate him for making me feel unimportant, insignificant, left-out, unneeded, unwanted, not-good-enough and inadequate.

I hate him for lowering down my self-esteem.

I hate him for scarring me so bad to the point that it is impossible for me to trust and let in another guy into my heart ever again.

I hate him for making me a cynic and sceptic when it comes to love.

I hate him for leaving me out.

I hate him for leading me on. Fo being so extremely nice to me, and then breaking my heart.

I hate him for loving her.

I hate his so-called "I still care about you cuz you're my best friend" thing. I hate it. If you mean it, then show it. Include me in your life.

But I guess, most of all, I hate the thought of him going through his everyday life, not being able to feel the same way about me, ever.

I hate him. I want him out of my life. I've had enough. Waayy more than enough. Good riddance.

1 comment:

Afiqah Zainuri said...

gOOD GOOD.. Da recover akhirnya.. congrats..hihi..