Our Tour Group, at the Great Pyramids of Giza :)
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Sometimes I ask myself, why do I bother? Why do I return his calls and reply his messages the second I get them? Why do I answer his calls no matter how late at night it is? Why is he the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last before I go to sleep? And then the answer comes to me. Its not merely the fact that I love him, I realized that some part of me holds a shard of hope that maybe, just maybe, if I showed him how much I care, maybe that feeling would be reciprocrated. Which is extremely pathetic, I know.
But wait, it gets worse. Because there were times when he made me feel so..special, so appreciated, like I meant the world to him. I told myself maybe he was just trying his best to be a good friend. And initially I was okay with that, I told myself, well, at least he's sensitive enough. But its worse because when he doesn't treat me that way, it makes me miss those times so much. It also somehow makes me feel that everything was fake, that maybe he was doing it out of pity alone and not because some part of him did truly care about me.
To those who truly know the reason behind me feeling like this, maybe you guys think I'm being overly dramatic. But recent events was somehow the climax of everything that's been going on with him lately. Actually, after knowing the truth about a month ago, I know I should be on my 'moving on' stage by now. But turning back on your heart isn't that easy. Especially when he's so damn confusing (I won't go into details about that here since I'm sick of talking about it).
The heart is a precious thing. That's why I'm reverting back to my old philosophy, to not let anyone near enough to my heart until they can touch it, because when they can touch it, they can break it.
"And there he goes, so perfectly, the kind of flawless I wish I could be."
I'll be on hiatus for 10 days. Don't ask me why.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
I was looking through this book called 'A-Z Explained Courses' which I got at one of our school's career fair thingys and found out that the only courses that interest me besides Law was English, History and Chemistry. Now here's the problem. I would absolutely love to do English or History, but my dad would never let me. You see, my dad is quite a money-minded person and he has always had a vision of his daughter working at a big law firm or becoming one of those hotshot corporate lawyers carrying a briefcase and having a company-sponsored chauffeur driving me to work. What else can you do with an English or History degree in Malaysia besides being a lecturer? My mum and I have no problems with that but my dad would never hear the end of it. I would also love to do Chemistry, but this poses even more problems. Firstly, to do a degree in Chemistry, I must first take Biology, Physics and also Mathematics (eeeww!) during my A-Levels, and there is no way in hell I am doing all those subjects again, 2 years of torture was enough to scar me for life. Secondly, again with the career path. I don't mind lecturing, but my dad, no way. In this case the first problem is bigger than the second one. So unfortunately, I've gotta rule out Chemistry. I miss the subject by the way, and also those fun times during tuituon with Zay, Low and Cikgu Taufik..
So in the end it leaves me with Law. Don't get me wrong, it has always been something that I really wanna do, its just..English, History and Chemistry do interest me as well. I guess my path towards doing a Law degree would include English and History because I will be taking English Literature and History for my A-Levels. But there is no way for Chemistry. Its different altogether, Law is an Arts and Chemistry is a Science. Hmmm.
On another topic, I submitted my Volunteer Application Form to Petrosains yesterday! Huhuhu. I really hope I get it since the very reason I refused to go for the A-Levels January intake was because I wanted to experience new things before I went off to college, and a job is one of them. I sent my resume to Kinokuniya as well, which is my dream place to work part-time by the way, the feeling of being around all those beautiful new books is indescribable. I sent it in more than a week ago I think, and sadly, until now, they haven't called me yet. Mummy tried to comfort me by saying maybe they have too many applicants for the job, and they employ on a first come first serve basis. I knew I should have sent it in earlier! I really wanna work there, everytime I walk by I would look at the place longingly and fantasize about how cool it would be to be able to work there :( Oh well, I hope I get the Petrosains position, it really isn't bad, its called volunteer work but you do get paid, and furthermore, you're allowed to choose what days you wanna work! Cool right? Huhu.
Everyone also seems to be going for their driving license lately. I really want mine too but I'm just terrified at the idea of driving a manual car with a total stranger breathing down my neck! I mean, how am I supposed to practise? All the cars at home are automatic, and they look so easy to drive! Start the car, naikkan handbreak, tekan minyak, and drive! Whereas a manual car needs so much thinking! My dad keeps on trying to teach me:
"Bila start kereta je tekan clutch and masuk gear 1, bila you rasa kereta dah steady sikit tekan clutch masuk gear 2, bila dah steady lagi tekan clutch masuk pulak gear 3. Bila nak slow down masuk balik gear 2. Jangan lupa tekan clutch everytime nak tukar gear. Gear 1 tu only bila start kereta and nak stop bila dah habis."
The whole time I was like "Banyak betul benda nak pikir! Tekan clutch lah, tukar gear lah, aaaahh!", and my dad would say "Hey, your Physics and Addmaths tu lagi susah daripada bawak kereta eh, bawak kereta senang je!" and I'm like "Kereta auto senang lah, ni manual!" then my mum, always backing me up, would say "At least Addmaths and Physics tu takdela mati serta-merta kalau tak pass, kan. Ni bawak kereta, lupa tekan clutch ke tukar gear ke, haaa mati terus," Hahahaha spot on mummy! I really need to go back to Klang and practise driving using my aunt's manual Wira Aeroback before I have any hope of driving at all. Sigh.
Wow I think this is my longest post so far. I doubt you even had the patience to read all of it. Haha.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
If I seemed awkward in the dress I was wearing, well..it was because that night was the first time in like, 11 years since I last wore a dress. Seriously. Haha. So I was kinda (ok, really) nervous about putting it on since I was afraid I was gonna look like a freak or something, and thank God, it turned out pretty okay. Haha. My initial attempt of putting on a hairband in an effort to do something with my boring hair didn't work out though, since the stupid hairband was starting to gimme a serious headache halfway through. I thought I wanted to tahan until the end of the night, but my friends were like "Cabut je la Aira!", haha. Oh well, it could've been worse, right? I mean, I could've tripped and fell since I was wearing heels, and I could even have spilled food on my dress, which I do very often, as a matter of fact. All in all, I was quite pleased with myself :)
The event itself was nice..the food was great, it certainly satisfied my rumbling stomach since we were allowed to eat only at 9 pm. It wasn't a lavish extravaganza like what you see in those American tv shows, but hey, they're called tv shows for a reason right? I guess my real-life prom experience was pretty good, at the end of the night I realized what mattered the most was the people I was with, my dearest friends :) Each of them looked great by the way, I think everyone noticed in the pictures at my last post how Dan, Bazil and Rifdi turned up with the same shirt and tie, and it still amazes me how guys can get away with wearing the same thing to prom! I can't even begin to imagine the chaos that would ensue if two girls turned up to prom wearing the same dress, let alone three!! I guess boys have it so much easier for them huh. Its so unfair.
Ooohh and I was also very proud because I voted for Zayana to win the best dressed award, and she won! Huhu she deserved it because she really looked great :)
I guess it was a night we will all remember forever, do take care and keep in touch everyone!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Betul ke korang tak pakat ni?
Zay, Danial and I
I miss Chem Tuituon!
Ainaa dearest :)
Zay looked beautiful, kan? :)
Thank you Low!
And last but not least...I look short, I know.
Thanks for a great night everyone! :) :) Take care!
Monday, December 8, 2008
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
You know there are some songs that are so sweet they make you go.."aaaaaaaawww!" kan? Well here are a few songs that I think are superbly sweet:
1. Istimewa - Indigo
2. Sempurna - Gita Gutawa
3. Lucky - Jason Mraz ft. Colbie Caillat
4. Belaian Jiwa - Innuendo
I went to my second cousin's wedding last week, and they had this slideshow where they showed the bride and groom punye, like, early life and stuff, and Sempurna by Gita Gutawa was the background music. Sumpah sweet gila! My cousin and I were like, swooning all the way, haha. What makes it even sweeter was that the pengantin were childhood sweethearts, there were pictures of them holding their high school nametags and that was like, super duper sweet!! How nice, to be able to find the person that you're gonna spend the rest of your life with in high school. You would think that stuff like that only happens in movies, but apparently there are some lucky people who experience it in real life too. Maaann, wish it could happen to me..
Yeah, dream on Aira.
“Tree Hill is just a place somewhere in the world. Maybe it's a lot like your world, maybe it's nothing like it. But if you look closer, you might see someone like you. Someone trying to find their way. Someone trying to find their place. Someone trying to find their self. Sometimes it seems like you are the only one in the world who's struggling, who's frustrated, or unsatisfied, or barely getting by. But that feeling's a lie. And if you just hold on, just find the courage to face it all for another day, someone or something will find you and make it all okay. Because we all need a little help sometimes. Someone to help us hear the music in the world, to remind us that it won't always be this way. That someone is out there. And that someone will find you.”
— Lucas Eugene Scott
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
So enough about the reasons why I wanna blog. Lets start rambling. Okay.
SPM ended for me last Thursday, the last paper being EST (I know, those folks at the Examination Board are so nice) and luckily for us, the report writing part was easy. Especially for us Bio students. Huhu. Initially I was estatic about leaving school. I was sick of Addmaths and Bio..and I was just sick of the monotony of school, you know. Waking up, bathe, seeing the same people every day. The unbelievable pressure of exams. But alas, as EST ended that Thursday, I couldn't help but feel sad that school was coming to an end. 5 years of being a Melawatian. Wow. It was sad to know that I wouldn't be seeing these kids and teachers that I have seen almost every day for 5 years anymore. To be honest I'd miss the teachers more. Technology nowadays makes contacting friends much easier (and not to mention my parents letting me go out after SPM, hehe). But teachers..those amazing, selfless people who never tire of educating, no matter how terrible we teenagers are, when else are we gonna see them? I miss them already. My tuition teachers too =(
On a happier note, Belle, Zay, Dan, Rifdi and I went to see Twilight yesterday. I know I know, practically every teenage girl's blog is talking about how awesome the movie was right now, so I'll just join in. Hehe. Although I haven't finished the book yet, I must say, the movie was AWESOME. And that Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen..awww maann. What else can I say? Belle and I started squealing the moment he appeared on screen. Gorgeous. Flawless. As heavenly as how Stephenie Meyer described in the book. Hehehehe. Now every girl wants a vampire for a boyfriend. Huhu.
It was also a day of releasing my inner child (if you ask my close friends, that doesn't happen very often, haha). The KLCC playground was fun, especially since Dan brought his camera. Toys'R Us (damn macam mane nak eja?) was fun, there was this HSM 3 notebook which was like, lawa gila, tapi I was like agak malu nak beli with Belle and the others there. Hehe. Its okay notebook, I'll get you one day. C'mon, Belle bought Play-Doh and that Santa hat, I don't see what's wrong with a HSM 3 notebook. It has Zac Efron on it! Oh and that "card" at Memory Lane which freaked Zay out. Haha. Maybe I'll get that for her birthday. Yeah, brilliant idea =)
Thanks for a great day guys. Miss your company already =(
"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually be afraid you will make one."